This too-much-coffee infused "revelation" needn't be out there but here it is.

Adulthood doesn't exist. At least not in the sense that it’s a stage you step into at some point in life, a place where your elders want to see you the latest by your thirties, an elite club to which you automatically gain access when you sign a mortgage.

It's just a term people older than you use to force you into some set of rules they don't even understand and that nobody seems to question. Where those who dare to are ostracised.

You've been thrown out of childhood into the unknown, like being spat out of a wave, and you've been trying to figure it out ever since. Always chasing something, career, money, status, things, people, chasing, like there is a next wave behind you trying to swallow you again. You have this constant fear inside of you that with any wrong step you will lose everything, that you will be swept off your feet. You try to push yourself onto people, assume dominance, be better than others, to hide your fragility and inherent nothingness. When you feel insecure you blame others, refugees, Mexicans, whatever, every external change in society, in the world, is a direct attack on your personality and "freedom". Nothing masks your insecurities more blatantly than entitlement. The thought that the world owes you something because you earned it, because you worked hard to get here. You can't have what was not yours to begin with.

You are at that age when you realize that your parents and grandparents didn't have it together when they were your age, that they never "had it together" and that nobody ever "had it together", they just followed in pre-made footsteps where the troubles were known and good things came to those who conformed.

You surround yourself with a big amount of shiny things and "positive" people like in a mad carusel, thinking that you are all grown up, that you "made" it, that you are up high enough to have a decent amount of people to look down on.

To stop for a bit and to look around you with critical eyes is frowned upon because you could see the cracks in you and in everyone else. You "stay strong", you push forward as if you were going down an endless birth canal, only that there is no light at the end of the tunnel as you approach your unavoidable end.

You try to make sense of it all where there is no sense to begin with. Your mind constantly searches for reasons, answers, deep inside your memory and feelings, your ego is trying to figure out where you stand in the world, who you "are" at any given moment, if you are the oppressor or the victim, compare so that you can feel good about yourself or strive to improve, if you do happen to feel bad.

When life actually is a circle of little events, of good and bad, mostly uneventful, a constant struggle to keep afloat brightened by moments of joyful bliss, with no higher meaning than the fact that you exist on this earth for a brief period of time. Take it as it is.

There is no right or wrong way to live as long as you stay humble and kind, accept kindness and love and stay conscious of your impact on others.

I frequently fail at this but will try again tomorrow.

You are a kid and a grown up all in the same body yet in different proportions at different points in your life. Be aware of that and don't judge people who don't match your desired kid-to grown-up ratio. Your “inner child” is there with you your whole life, be responsible with it, don’t include it in the conversation when you have a salary negotiation at work and..let it play from time to time.

I have no proper ending to this text as my train of thoughts finished abruptly so I will leave you to it with a cliché saying of some sorts like "Live and let live".